Insta-fame

It has baffled me for a while the concept of ‘insta-fame’. A regular 13 year old, posting a couple of scantily clad photos and BAM; 2 million followers and a new Porsche Cayenne. Ok, maybe the Porsche is an exaggeration, but the amount of likes and consequential real world recognition is unbelievable.

I was lucky enough to pick the brains of a 13 year old this week on the topic. This young and observant boy shed some light on the techniques used by these insta-famous younglings. Having spent his primary school years at a co-education school before starting at a single sex private school last year, he had an encompassing view of both the female and male perception of insta-fame.

During his explanation, I noticed a couple of reiterated, what I will call, rules and regulations. These rules are concrete. It would be social suicide to, for example, have a ratio of followers to following that tilted towards the latter. Very careful planning and maintenance went into controlling this ratio.

Firstly apps MUST be downloaded that track recent follows and un-follows. Such apps include insta-followers, Followers + and Famousgram. Some of these can even be used to buy and manipulate your Instagram page so that it appears you have more followers than you really do. It’s like paying for friendships or Insta- prostitution.

The next vital rule of insta-fame is photo choice. A bikini shot once a week is a must, usually followed up by a burger snap. This shows you are toned, tan, fit and ready (quote Katy Perry, California Girls), but also happy to indulge in these ‘dirty eating’ treats. The caption below the bikini shot should be something along the lines of “OMG, how big do I look here?!” or “taaaaalk about hit by a truck!”, to encourage sympathy likes and confidence boosting comments. The hashtags that accompany the burger pic would consist of #cleaneating #not #oopsies #burger #1D (this refers to the popular boy band, and is added in to guarantee maximum insta coverage).

The angle of the shot is also a skill. I have been told maximum likes are obtained when the photo is taken from above and angled down. By doing so, breasts will look larger than life, while the top of your legs are hidden away thus creating a ‘box gap’ appearance. HINT: add #boxgap to the caption below and watch the likes explode!

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